Day 5

Lately I have been feeling as if I don't have a need to blog.  Like who is really even reading my posts, am I just wasting my time, or is it even worth it?  I have came to the conclusion that it's not if any one is reading, I am not wasting any time, and yes it's worth it! The enemy sure knows how to burst my bubble! So with all that said I have thought of doing things like following other blogs where you link up and do different types of posts of certain things.  I found "Story of my life" from some other blog off of Facebook and decided to tag along. ;)

It's a challenge for the month of May. I know it's Day 5 but I am gonna do this anyway! Especially for what today's challenge is even if it's 8:58 p.m.

Day 5, Sunday: Publicly profess your love and devotion for one of your blogger friends. What makes them great? Why do you love them? If you don't have blogger friends, talk about a real-life friend or even a family member.

I would love to profess my love and devotion to Amanda Hoyt over at "The Hoyt Family" blog.  The bond her and I have is a relationship that has only came from our Father in Heaven!  When we were both going thru the most darkest days of our lives and even though we didn't know each other I feel we had HOPE that one day someone would know each others pain. We both miscarried within the same week of March 2008, but didn't meet till June of 2008 on Cafemom. Love you God-sent!

What makes her great?  She is just great overall. Always knows when to just send a text or a FB message just to say Hello, Love, How are you, etc... It's like a touch from our angels EVERYTIME we interact. Even though we live miles away we still act as if we live down the street from each other.  She always hurts when I hurt.  When I am having a bad day she listens. She is not great, she is AMAZING!!!

Why do I love her? Simple! He blessed me with the most amazing Sister in Christ! Her love for Christ, her kindness, her heart, her prayers, EVERYTHING!

LOVE YOU AMANDA!!! Thank you Father God for blessing me with one of your daughters.

It is well with my soul,
Melanie

Where has the time gone?

It's gone just as the days fly by,

You were taken too soon,

You lived in my womb for a short few weeks,
I remember you only by one ultrasound,
You were a mover with a strong heartbeat,
5 years ago today you vanished before my eyes,
It was a nightmare,
Why is all I could say,
I felt cold and alone,
I prayed for peace and comfort from my Savior,
A whisper from the Holy Spirit calmed my heart,
Saying "It is well with my soul."
Written by:Your Mommy
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I don't grieve anymore,
I don't cry as much,
I think of you often,
Reminded of you often,
As I look in the sky,
I always try and see if the clouds form into angel wings,
Because I know where you are,
Your in Heaven with all the other angels,
Where one day I will meet you face to face,
No pain, no suffering, no worrying, no grieving, no mourning, NOTHING,
One day baby you will be in my arms and that is why I no longer grieve your loss no more.
Written by:Your Mommy

In my heart always!

Love you my sweet Nehemiah!
<3 Mommy

Graphic made by: Amanda Hoyt

October Baby Movie

I just finished watching the movie "October Baby" and without giving anyone any teasers about it I just can't help write out my thoughts since it's all fresh in my mind.  As I sit here with tears rolling down my face all I can think of is my Daddy, my sweet Nehemiah, and my cousin Paul.

How much I miss them. How much my Daddy meant so much to me even if I only knew him for 14 years of my life. I looked up to my Daddy. I was his baby girl. As I sit here and listen to Elanie talking and playing with her Daddy I still wish I could just sit and talk to my Daddy. I wonder how life would be with him still here. Would he of been a changed person or would he of still been the person he was. It doesn't matter though because to me he is and was still my Daddy.

My sweet Nehemiah who lived in my womb for a short 8-12 weeks. Oh how I loved my little baby who I saw moving around with a beating heart. How could life be so short? I am still blessed to be able to say I have a son or a daughter in Heaven that I will meet some day. The night that I finished my banner for the CarlyMarie event that will happen on October 15th, I swaddled Elanie as she was fighting to go to sleep, I wept as she sang "Jesus Loves Me," I wept because all I could think of that night was that I will never have the chance to put my sweet Nehemiah to sleep.

My cousin Paul, oh how I miss you cuz! Today marks 11 months since you entered Heaven. Your in such an awesome place, yet I sit here with a heavy heart that only the Lord knows why. I just want another ;) on Yahoo Messenger. I am wearing your yellow smiley face shirt that your Mommy mailed me as a surprise. Right now it has stains of tears and makeup from crying so much from the movie.

As I go to sleep tonight I just want to be in the arms of my Heavenly Father. I haven't cried in awhile and I knew a day would come where I could just let it all out.

If you haven't forgiven someone, if you feel rejected, if you feel that no one is there for you and your all alone, if you feel weak in your faith, go to the Lord and ask Him to heal your pain, help you forgive, and rest assured your life will start to turn and you will know it's from Him above.

2 Corinthians 12:9-10
And he said unto me, My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness. Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me.

Therefore I take pleasure in infirmities, in reproaches, in necessities, in persecutions, in distresses for Christ's sake: for when I am weak, then am I strong.

Goodnight family & friends!

In Christ,
Melanie

Lyrics

That song that plays... You hear it once, twice, three times... It's a beautiful worship song... Today it touched my heart like WOW! Our church's worship team has started to write their own songs and one of them is the one that WOW'd me today. I heard it back in Easter time and then watched it many times on video on Facebook.

Today was the day. As I sang the lyrics:

Oceans rise
Hope may fade
Through my life
You remain

Yes those lyrics touched me like never before today. The Lord was showing me just yesterday that my JOY has been renewed in my life, heart, soul, body, home, EVERYWHERE. For about 2 years my joy was not in me. You may ask "why?" Well that's for another post.

Let me just say that if your hope fades away at anytime in your life, pray that the Lord will renew it. If your joy fades, ask Him to renew it. He can renew ANYTHING! Marriage, finances, relationships, ANYTHING!!!

In Psalms 51:10 it says: " Create in my a clean heart, O God.  Renew a loyal spirit within me."

Ask and you shall receive! Maybe not in your time (took 2 years) but in His time ;)

It Is Well With My Soul,
Melanie

Dream

I don't dream a lot but when I do it's a good dream and it's one I either need to journal or blog about. This morning I woke up feeling so awesome because in my dream I led a girl to Christ. I have never in real life brought anyone to Christ, YET!

In my dream I was with my sister Fay, my cousin Philip, my Titi Evelyn, and my Tio Fred.  We were in a lazy river.  Philip was doing silly dives and my sister and I were just cracking up. All three of us decided we wanted to go to the other side of the lazy river so Fay and I grabbed onto Philip's arms, and as we were about to start swimming a girl grabbed my arm and said "I need you to pray for me." I then told her "Okay let me get to the other side of the river and then I will find you and pray with you."

I went and found her and we found a curb to sit and talk and pray.  She began to tell me her problems and and tried to give her the best advice I could give her from my heart.  It was as if she was yearning to just sit and tell someone everything and in return have someone pray with her. After awhile I asked her if she had ever asked Jesus Christ into her heart. She mentioned no she never had and so I asked her if she wanted to. She wasn't sure and hesitated a bit and then she said "Yes I want to."

I grabbed her hand and for some reason we were praying over her belly. She then began to shake and cry and then my sister brought her some kleenex. I went back to the car where my family was and we drove off.

The End...

Like I stated before I don't dream often. I believe dreams are brought into your sleep to tell you something and to be fast to pray about it. I know there are many of us hurting and need that someone to pray for them EVEN if you don't know them.

With this dream the verse that came to my heart was: "You are the light of the world. A city set on a hill cannot be hidden…Let your light shine before men in such a way that they may see your good works, and glorify your Farther who is in heaven (MAT 5:14a, MAT 5:16)."

Have a blessed weekend,
Melanie

Pregnancy Resource Center

We have 4 more months before the Army moves our belongings for the very.last.time. With that said we decided to start decluttering.  We have decided that we don't want any more children (unless the Lord places it in our hearts of course) so I thought the playpen could go to Salvation Army or Goodwill. Then I thought as I was driving towards Salvation Army that the Pregnancy Resource Center here in my town needs donations. It has a screw missing and I know that I couldn't consign it at the thrift store but I know it can be fixed in 1, 2, 3 by someone. I googled the Pregnancy Resource Center on my cell as I drove and called and asked if they would like a playpen. The lady on the phone was the sweetest and she was so excited that I was coming with a playpen.

As I walked in the Pregnancy Resource Center I thought they would just take it and that's it. Well the lady that I spoke to on the phone came out and spoke to me and asked if I wanted a tour and also had me fill out their book so they could thank me later. I had many thoughts of why would I want a tour. God knew why I needed a tour. These were my thoughts:

-Why would I want a tour?
-I am just dropping this off...
-I am not preggo and I don't need any type of assistance from them, I just want to donate Elanie's playpen.

The first room she took me in was the Ultrasound room. The tears began to flow as she began to tell me the procedures of when a woman comes to the resource center for the 1st time. I came out and said "I am so sorry, I had a miscarriage and this room reminds me of the day they told me my baby had no heartbeat." She felt so sorry and explained to me that she doesn't know how that feels because she has never had to experience it. On the wall was a newborn being held in the parents hands. I thought to myself I was able to do that with Elanie but not with Nehemiah. My heart hurt. We began to tour the rest of the center. I was amazed at what they have for anyone thats in need. They not only have things for expecting mothers and their spouses but they have videos and classes for parents. Then we went into the room where all the donations go. AMAZING! There are people that care and want to give. The donation room was packed from top to bottom.

So as you can see there was a reason why the lady wanted to give me a tour! God wanted to bring me back to that season of my life that at times I try and put way behind me.

I always remember you my Nehemiah!

It Is Well With My Soul,
Melanie

Reality has hit...

Today as we were driving to church, hubby and I started talking about dates and when and where once November comes around for retirement. I was like uh oh reality is finally hitting us. No jobs, no home to call ours, putting everything in storage, and just the what if's began. During church service I was reminded that I need to take the shield of faith. If I don't have faith in my Father then nothing will go right. He pin pointed on "tithing" and tithing is huge for me because I believe in it and know that He will bless us when we give our tithe. If we don't tithe then we don't have faith. That was where the ah hah moment came to me. If I don't believe in His Word then where is my faith.

Am I truly His child? Yes I am. Then why don't I do what the Word says? Well because at times I am not in his Word and I am letting the enemy get the best of me. The enemy will try and get the best of us during this period of a huge transition in our lives.

It's time to buckle down and strap on my sheild and walk in faith and not by sight.

Today's sermon really has me on fire to pray for many things and see the Lord do His glorious work in my family.

Enemy step aside.... WE got this!!!!


It Is Well With My Soul,
Melanie